Bye, Bye, Bye!

I thought it would be fun to review some of the items that didn't survive "The Purge of November 2014":

DONATED/GIVEN AWAY:

Bye-bye, buttflaps! I hate the way they stick out on my already ginormous bottom, and these pants are just are too short-- even in flats. I actually wore them to court recently, then started kicking myself when I got home. But I hadn't had my new court clothes tailored yet. No excuse- I had other things I could have worn!



I've never been crazy about brown, though as much as I've worn it-- one could reasonably infer otherwise. I have a ton of brown shoes purchased for brown pants over the years... I wonder how long I can avoid brown pants? As of this purge, I have no brown or mostly-brown pants or jackets in my closet. But there might be some in the storage bins. Time (and weight loss) will tell.

While I won't miss the brown butt-flap pants, I'm going to miss my wardrobe staple-- it was just too shabby to keep around any more. Although it was tough to part with. At least my red version of this is still OK.



While I love the concept of a big, cozy sweater... the execution leaves much to be desired. At least on me, because I need more bulk added to my cartoonishly round hips! Given to my Bestie:



I liked this sweater, and it was a freebie hand-me-down from Freeda. But it was just getting too faded to deal with... it's Old Navy, so not a top-quality fabric. Although I was impressed that the design actually matched up at the button placket:



This tank was always a bit too sheer for my comfort:



I'm keeping the button-down, just got rid of the top underneath. The boat neck never lies flat, and it's just annoying:



I really loved this combination, but the sweater just kept coming up short. Short-waisted and short-sleeved. But it is such a great color/accessory combination! I will be merciless in this purge, and keep an eye out for a better-fitting hot pink sweater to try the idea in the future:



Delightfully warm, but just too big and not worth altering:



I tried having this altered, but it was still a hot mess:



THIS HOARDER ACTUALLY THREW SOMETHING OUT:

This Chico's sweater, along with it's black counterpart, started to unravel around the neck. They weren't special enough to try to mend, and the sleeves were a touch too short anyway:



See how I'm trying to hide that the waist was too short as well? It would be hilarious, if I hadn't worn that to work!

I know I should go through another round of purges at some point... although I'm hoping I was thorough this time. Oh well... I will probably have to do it when I go down a size or two.

I will have to post about the things I'm having a hard time purging. I could use your input!

Is "The Force" With Me?

Yesterday, I had to drive Hubby for some court appearances. I wanted to look good, since people I know from my old job would likely see me. I did take the time to blow-dry my hair... but I was too lazy to dig my trouser jeans out of the clean laundry basket and iron them. So I went for a butt-covering sweater and wore my jeans from Thursday instead:



I adore this belt, and was glad for the chance to wear it:



My outfit today is reminding me of something... giving me a fun feeling... what could it be?


credit

Thats it... My outfit is reminding me slightly of a Jedi costume. Cool! Speaking of Jedi-- check this great parody video:



I'm such a fangirl... the lyrics are from my mind to this guy's lips!

I wanted to wear coordinating jewelry with my Jedi-esqe outfit, but nothing that would overshadow my "lovebirds". So I picked some subtle studs:



Because they work well with this necklace:



However, there were still a few issues with the outfit. Mostly because I wore the jeans that I determined were too tight as I wrote the last post. And because the sweater would ride up if I forgot to tug it down after sitting:



The sweater covers the worst of the back of these jeans, but not quite enough to save them from the "too small" bag:



I decided to wear a pair of my winter boots, rather than shoes. Mostly because I wasn't sure what to expect from the weather. It turns out that they weren't necessary, and my feet were sweating like crazy while I was waiting for Hubby's court appearance to be over:



This is with trouser socks over the compression socks... my feet were boiling, perhaps I should have left the trouser socks off.

It is a little amusing that I can't seem to find any boots that will lace up without weird gaps around the tongue. Life without ankles... *sigh* On the plus side, I was asked if I lost weight!

Top: VanHeusen turtleneck "altered" by me.
Sweater: Croft & Barrow via Baby's Sis' friend's purge pile. Yep, I'm getting hand-me-downs from           perfect strangers... sweet!
Jeans: Lane Bryant
Boots: Bass
Earrings: Cost Plus World Market
Necklace: Wal-Mart
Belt: via Freeda's purge pile

Aging Is Cruel... But It's Better Than the Alternative!

Yesterday was a pretty busy Thursday for me-- I didn't even have time to dig up an old photo for "Throwback Thursday" on Facebook! Squeaky woke me up with a phone call... we had planned to go to a town about an hour away from me to help her shop at this fantastic dent/scratch/discontinued furniture store. We planned it for Monday, but I woke up with a hideous cold then cancelled. By Thursday, I felt human again. Let's go!

I just had a haircut the day before, so I thought it was a good time to test out "scrunched with mousse and wax, air dry". I was feeling pretty good in the store:



Well, I'm still showing a few unflattering lumps and bumps, but I'm making progress... right?

At least Squeaky made out like a bandit... she bought a sofa, loveseat, and chaise. And a bunch of throw cushions were tossed (Dad pun alert!!!) into the deal. I believe the grand total was less than a thousand bucks!

Lately I'd been... I almost want to use the word craving... teal clothing. I have always loved the color, and it seems to be big this season. The sweater wasn't the best "teal"of the ones I tried on, but it was the best-fitting.

These earrings set it off beautifully:



I felt like I really wanted a little interest at the neckline, but most of my "gold" necklaces would not suit one way or another. I finally settled on this flea-market find:



Was it a nice touch, or "too much"? And when did I get those weird "freckles"?

I was an amateur and professional radio DJ and producer for the bulk of the Nineties. When my Bestie and I went to karaoke night later that evening... I had a bug in the back of my brain: I wanted to sing a certain song that had me dancing around the On-Air studio in my oversized college sweatshirt and sweats during my late-night shifts. Every. Time.

I was unbelievably impressed that the DJ at this hotel bar in Boonieland actually had this for karaoke-- I rocked the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks out of it:



I was in my twenties in my (pathetically-paid but freaking awesome) first career path once more. Flailing around the studio. In my head. Then I went to the ladies' room:



Wow, I look much worse today than I thought I did. Talk about having one's illusions shattered! Ok, scrunched with product and air-dried isn't the way to style this cut. It's winter... I should be blow-drying anyway.

Hubby said something about not liking these jeans a couple of weeks ago. And he doesn't like a  close-fitting jeans style anyway, at least not on me. But I've lost a few pounds over the last couple weeks. They should be fine... or not:



Yikes! No wonder Hubby prefers trouser-cut jeans on me! I hate it when we disagree-- and he's right. Argh!



For $70 jeans with "Tighter Tummy Technology", these seem to be wanting. Or are they actually doing a magnificent job? I may need to put them away for a few pounds... but I'm going to try something first. Tune in next episode!

I wore sneakers throughout the day and night because I knew I would be walking quite a bit in the store. And because I am wearing compression socks, which did not fit into the brown loafer-type shoes I intended for the outfit. Such glamour:



But they were heavenly for all the walking. The socks kept my cankles from swelling to the size of Alaska. But my toes felt like they were there! Compression garments are a new thing for me, and I'm still experimenting. Apparently, they do not hold body heat at all.

I bought a couple pair of open-toe ones to try out, and so far I love them. These white ones are the full-foot type that my Mother-In-Law ordered, then discovered were too small, then gave to me. Yay! The foot part in the white ones is actually a bit big, I could probably wear cotton footies underneath next time I wear these sneakers.

My Bestie thawed out my frozen metatarsals by nailing all of her karaoke songs:



She has such an awesome voice, and I really love her color combination from last night. We were trying to explain what a "blog" is to her husband last night, but I finally had to show him this little project (aka lawyer doll blog) so he would get the gist.

Sweater: Jeannine Pierre via Bon Ton
Jeans: Lane Bryant
Shoes: Saucony via one of those Facebook "garage sale" groups. Just like new and $20!
Earrings: Cost Plus World Market
Necklace: via flea market

In the Back of my Closet

I know it sounds strange, but I bought a new purse. A gorgeous Coach Campbell hobo, with matching wallet. No worries, I'm not on a "spendy bender"... the purchase was ages ago, when I still had money! But I was so "fried", so exhausted and stressed-out, that I never bothered to switch my stuff around. So this beauty slumbered with my wedding dress, sewing machine, and the stuffed animals I keep for child houseguests for a while.



My Kate Spade wallet (gift from Freeda) has definitely seen better days, so it was time for a new one. The Coach wallet I purchased along with the purse is the same color as the new bag, but I didn't find the right image online to steal. The wallet's side pouch is intended for an iPhone, but my Galaxy S4 is a bit of a snug fit. By the time I can extricate my phone, the caller has reached my voicemail! I use it for my hoard of Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons instead. And I keep my scan cards on a keyring attached the the wristlet clip.

There isn't anything wrong with the bag I've been carrying for years... I'm just weary of yet another form of the "black lump". I've mostly used black leather bags throughout my adult life, and they've been decent and practical. But I'm bored to tears!



I am still keeping this, and may switch my things out from time to time. But in keeping with my wardrobe overhaul, I think my lovely B. Makowski "Mom Bag" needs a rest!

The search was actually for an oxblood color, but I settled on the bordeaux. The color will look great with most of my wardrobe. There is a decent amount of storage space, but that it still looks "neat" without being "over-structured". And it will look great with my new "interview suits"!

Major Image Overhaul

Back to try this blogging thing again... I've really missed the support of my blog-buddies. Hope you all remember me!

I'm still jobless, but picking up a little work here and there. I feel myself preparing for "something"-- I'm not entirely sure "what" yet-- by editing and revamping my wardrobe. So a lot of changes will be forthcoming!

Let's be frank... my "career wardrobe" has been pretty "catch-as-catch-can" for years, with pieces thrown together hoping they would be alright. For this I really have two factors to blame: 1. I do not possess the advanced sewing skills (or the will) necessary to sew my own suits; and 2. The utter neglect of the plus-size fashion industry to make affordable separates, in cuts that work for my body type, and that are polished enough for a traditional professional.... The "traditional professions" including law. (I know that medicine and accounting are on the list, but I can't recall- is engineering in that category as well?)

I recall being utterly dismayed when finding lovely jackets in Lane Bryant during attempts at shopping over the years, only to find that the accompanying pieces were capris. Seriously?! I can't litigate in capris! *curling up into the fetal position* My allergy to all animal-fiber fabrics is another hugely limiting factor.

But like almost every other woman in the Western hemisphere, I am an electronic hoarder on Pinterest. Recently, two items I pinned separately appeared on my home page together:



And I can't get them out of my head! Everything matches, and looks deliberate. And so, so, soooo chic! THAT is what I want to look like... at least as well as I can do for my body size and type. And my pocketbook....

This concept rattled around in my head at the most opportune time for me: Lane Bryant actually has GREAT suit separates and coordinates out this year. *ecstatic dance* And while I'm a bit skint on cash, I do have their charge account. And I absolutely must buy separates rather than actual suits because my top and bottom are NEVER the same size.

"Doesn't it seem somewhat counter-intuitive to buy clothes and shoes when you are broke?", many may ask. Yes... BUT. But much of my previous "career wear" pieces have become shabby and ill-fitting. And it is crucial to polish my professional image to help my chances at improving my situation.

Besides, I'm keeping tags and receipts until they are actually worn. And I've already made some returns/repurchases to get a better price, such as when the item goes on sale. Or a better fit, as I've exchanged a couple of the jackets for a size smaller than initially purchased.

So I present some of my purchases, with the photos taken directly from the Lane Bryant website (with my edits, of course). And I did not buy the shirts shown-- I have a metric ton of shirts, thanks to Freeda's purge pile and my own thrifting and hoarding instincts!



The back hem of the jacket hits me in the perfect spot- before it could strain across the hips! No wonder some the of ladies reviewing this on the website complained that it was too short; it's perfect for short-waisted, big-bootied moi!

I am not posting a photo of the trousers because it doesn't come across well, but the pinstripes match the pink and white in the jacket. I wish there were a matching pinstripe jacket, but alas... no.

But I found the same jacket, in suit separates! No ponte knit panels, and the exact same fit as the tweed jacket... I'm in chubby/curvy lawyer clothing heaven:



They also had these jackets and trousers in a lovely burgundy color... but the trousers are the wrong cut for my shape. They didn't make them in the cut that works for me. C'est la vie.

Another jacket that I could not resist:



I love the contrast of the "rebellious" motorcycle jacket design with the traditional houndstooth pattern. And the fabric is so easy to move in! It's perfect for a long day working in the office.

I'm still debating a few clothing purchases/orders... as to whether they will be returned. That discussion (with photos, of course) will be in a future post.

I've also purchased some shoes (TG for my Bon Ton charge account), and done a major review and editing of the contents of my closet. Although there will be further refinements as I figure out how to get the best use out of what I have.

Roller-Coaster Summer

What a weird year... just as I was emerging from near-hibernation, my kayak was stolen. I discussed that in the last post, of course. I was asked to show the replacement kayaks, so they are a bit further down.

First, the two left behind by the scumbag thieves (modeled by Stinky and his little sister):



My mom's health never fully recovered from last summer, and without going into too much detail... she was in and out of the hospital and a physical rehabilitation facility for much of the summer. I went to the Mitten in June to be there for her hip replacement surgery, but not the subsequent hospitalization for post-op infections, etc.

While I was there, the local paddle shop graciously arranged a demo of several models after a lengthy discussion about the water conditions and how my old kayak handled where I live now. And with a generous gift from my Mother-In-Law, my Precious came home with me:



And I put her to very good use throughout July and August, and I paddled almost as often as possible.



I later picked up an inexpensive sit-on-top model to replace "Bud"-- the cheapie we won in a drawing:



Stinky's buddy really enjoyed the new model!

Shortly thereafter, I picked up a second one of that model because Stinky's middle-sized kid kayak handles horribly, and it's very slow. He's also been shooting up like a weed, and he is getting a bit big for it. My boat-phobic Bestie is giving Stinky's new kayak a try... another convert!



At the end of August, I had to put them all away for the winter. I got a call from Freeda that my mom was very ill, and my sisters had called an ambulance. I spent all of September in Michigan, as my mother was in-and-out of the hospital and rehab again. And we were moving my parents from their giant white elephant house to a cosy senior apartment... lots of work!

But Mom is much, much better and more "herself" than I have seen in over a year... so I came back to hearth and home-- rather to my poor neglected husband and household. And promptly got the mother of all sinus infections! I guess my body finally broke down after a month of living like a nomad and snatching naps in hospital rooms.

By the time I recovered, kayak season was over. As is my "sabbatical"... time to get back in the game!

Lawyerdoll and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

As you can see by the posting dates, I've taken quite the hiatus from the blogosphere. Not that I didn't miss y'all... I just needed to turn inward for awhile. Which apparently isn't so great for my "external presentation", although my bestie tells me I'm usually well-turned-out when we get together.

I've been doing photos for a week now, because I've wanted to get my blog up and running again. There have been a ton of changes in my life (and wardrobe) over that time, so I've been a bit preoccupied. Which I will get into in a later post. Because yesterday was truly a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I rolled out of bed just in time to cover my nakedness and go to my doctor's appointment.



Not glamorous, but the plan was to come home, shower, etc., and try to look more presentable. Yeah... I stayed that way all day. Why?

I came home to see that my two adult kayaks were stolen right from my side yard, where they were leaned against the house. At least the !$#^&!%#!*#!% left the two kid ones.

I'm not going to lie- I bawled like a baby in front of the officer that came to take the report. I've had "Baby" (the blue one) for ten years, and was looking forward to many more years of our mutual love blossoming.

Baby: Gone to Soon 2004-2014



What is really upsetting is that I hadn't taken her out yet this year, and was looking forward to kayaking with my boys this weekend! Argh!

Oh yeah, also had my t!t in a wringer. Yep, I was overdue for my mammogram. At least the gowns were nicer than I usually get in hospitals:



There are a few sliver linings. Whoops! I meant to type "silver", but perhaps "sliver" is more apropro? Or not? I'm still moping....

My parents have said they will lend me my dad's kayak for the season, as my mom is not well and he's pretty busy with her for the foreseeable future. I am going back to be there for mom's hip replacement, so I will just bring my roof racks and straps along.

The other development is a real surprise: My Mother-in-Law has decided that she wants to buy me a new kayak, and is sending over a nice chunk of money for me to shop with. It's incredibly generous. So while I can't "replace" my Baby (they don't make her anymore), I'm going to use Dad's kayak (aka "The Banana Boat") during this season while I do some SERIOUS kayak shopping.

We will also have to replace "Bud", the red one my husband and/or friends use. I'm more annoyed than devastated by this loss. He was a cheapie we won in a drawing, and named after the "Budweiser" logo on him. Hubby wants a sit atop one, and my plan had been to buy one this season, and keep Bud around as a spare for extra people. We will still buy the sit atop, but we won't have a spare after all, I suspect.

Who knows? Maybe Baby and/or Bud will turn up....

Tee: Walmart
Yoga pants: Old Navy
Shoes: Crocs